Q: I always thought I am above average when it comes to my skills in bed. But lately, I have been doubting my sexual ability. I started seeing my girlfriend last year and we have been having sex quite frequently. She raves about the sex we have and says she orgasms every time, but I am not sure if she’s telling the truth. I quizzed some of my female friends about their sex lives. All of them said that they never orgasm during sex. I also read somewhere that around 70 percent of women don’t experience vaginal orgasm at all. This has led me to doubt my girlfriend. Either I am an exceptionally gifted lover (which I am sure I am not) or she is a liar. Why would she lie about something like this? And how can I find out whether she actually orgasmed? I am a 34-year-old man from Mumbai who is desperately seeking answers.

Ans: Your frustration is understandable. We all expect our lovers to be honest with us, and would lose our minds if we think they are not. There’s a big possibility that your girlfriend is telling the truth and that you are an exceptional lover who manages to make her orgasm every time. There’s no reason to lie if she’s happy with her sex life.

That being said, an overwhelming number of women also lie to their men about their sexual satisfaction. According to a 2012 survey by AskMen and AskWomen, 54 percent women confessed to faking orgasms. Another 26 percent said they lied to their partner about orgasming every time they had sex. For women to achieve climax, there should be direct clitoral stimulation, which cannot be achieved by most sex positions. Other emotional factors like stress, anxiety and depression can also make it difficult for most women to orgasm.

So there's always a possibility that your girlfriend is lying because she doesn’t want to bruise your ego. Women fear being rejected by their men if they told them the truth. For the sake of the relationship, they fib about their sexual satisfaction. But if you must know if she is faking her orgasm, there are some tell-tale signs. Is Your Woman Faking Her Orgasm? – Sex Query the Day.

Before you proceed, be warned that not all men can take the truth. You could misread some of the signs and accuse her of lying, putting a strain on your relationship. But if you feel secure enough to know the truth, read. Here are some of the signs she’s faking her orgasm:

  • You don’t feel contractions around her vagina and anal area. During an orgasm, the woman’s pelvic floor muscles contract rhythmically, and you feel the pulse on your penis. If you felt no such contractions, she could be faking it. How to Make a Woman Orgasm During Sex (Watch Video).

  • She doesn’t pause the lovemaking. Upon orgasming, her genitals may feel extra sensitive to touch or sensations. If she continues and doesn’t take some time out to recover, she could be faking it.

  • She came within minutes. Women typically take longer to orgasm than men do. That’s why men are advised to use the start-stop technique to prolong the intercourse and increase their chances of climaxing. However, if the sex lasted only a few minutes and she claimed to have orgasmed, that’s right, she could be faking it.

  • There was no clitoral stimulation. Some sex positions do nothing for the clitoris. Sex positions like missionary, standing-up sex, etc. offer nothing in terms of clitoral stimulation. Women rarely climax in these positions.

These are some of the tell-tale signs that your woman is faking it. It’s not a healthy sign to be lying in a relationship, even if it’s a white lie. Encourage your girlfriend to tell the truth. That way, you can find out where you are lacking and become a better lover. Assure her that there would be no negative consequences of telling the truth.

(The above story first appeared on LatestLY on Oct 06, 2019 05:11 PM IST. For more news and updates on politics, world, sports, entertainment and lifestyle, log on to our website latestly.com).