Hi. I have a rather unusual query, but a very valid one. I am in a relationship with a man for the last four months. We have had sex multiple times. Every time we end up in the bed, I perform blow job on him because I feel like doing it in the heat of the moment. But he has never once gone down on me. Although I don’t perform oral sex on him expecting him to return the favour, his reluctance has been bothering me. I am confused because I never faced such a situation before. In my previous relationships, oral sex has never been an issue. I don’t know how to broach the topic with him. And while I can do without oral sex, I can’t help taking his reluctance personally. A few times when I brought up the issue with it, it ended on a weird note. He gets rather defensive, saying it has nothing to do with me and he’s always been averse to performing cunnilingus. Will I be too selfish if I dump him?

Ans: A lot of men have reservations about going down on a woman. This may come as news for many of us, but statistics say that men are less likely to perform oral sex on their partners. A survey from a Canadian college found out that 63 percent of men received blow jobs but only 44 percent of women received cunnilingus. A 2012 study by Centers for Disease Control and Prevention revealed that by mid-20s, 47 percent of men received oral sex as opposed to 41 percent women who did. So finding yourself a man who willingly gives you oral sex is difficult. How to Perform Oral Sex on Your Female Partner and Give Her the Best Orgasm (Watch Video).

That being said, there are numerous reasons why guys are less-than-willing to give head. One reason is power dynamics in a relationship. He may think going down on a woman is submissive and it could make him a lesser man. Another is the notion that women’s privates are unclean (it’s cleaner than his mouth btw, but more on that later). Some think it’s unhygienic to perform oral sex on a woman. Then there are some – the worst kind – who expects blow job but won’t return the favour. Do Women Enjoy Getting Oral Sex From Men Who Have Facial Hair? – Sex Query of the Day.

The truth is women’s vaginas are cleaner than most mouths. All vaginas have a peculiar smell, which means they are healthy. If your man doesn’t give you head, you have every reason to be resentful. The first step is to talk it out. But if he gets defensive every time, you should evaluate your relationship. Sexual satisfaction is a big part of being in a relationship. And if you have to compromise, then it’s not worth hanging on to. But if you are willing to forego of getting oral action for the sake of the relationship, it’s your call.

(The above story first appeared on LatestLY on Sep 29, 2019 05:04 PM IST. For more news and updates on politics, world, sports, entertainment and lifestyle, log on to our website latestly.com).