Coming out and proud amid Pride Month and living openly as a queer can feel liberating yet intensely vulnerable at the beginning. It almost feels like you have entered a new world, and there is so much for you to explore, understand, learn, unlearn, and re-learn. While embracing your identity represents tremendous growth, entering the dating world can pose distinct challenges. Top, bottom or versatile—if you are new to the gay dating scene, you might be scratching your head, wondering where you fit in among these demographics. It’s time to discover what works for you. First, let’s talk about what these labels mean. Pride Month 2024 Theme, History and Significance: All You Need To Know About the Month That Celebrates the LGBTQ Community. 

The terms are not new, and they were used to describe the sexual preferences of queer men in the 1970s. During that time, the handkerchief code gained popularity among gay men who were in search of casual sex. Placed on the back of your pocket, essentially and depending on the colour, symbolised a sexual position or fetish. The colour scheme, which was rainbow, carried with it ten colours, each with different meanings. And if you wore your handkerchief in your left pocket, you were deemed as more submissive, or a ‘bottom,’ whereas the right pocket meant that you were dominant, a ‘top.’

LGBTQ+ community-specific dating apps have added these terms to the bios, giving users the option to identify their sexual preferences. Generally, a bottom is the receiver, a top is the giver, and a versatile is someone who does both. These terms, while often applied to anal sex, do apply elsewhere and are not reserved for men who have sex with men.

Sexual Top: This is the person who is in control in bed and could be the person doing the penetrating in cases where penetration is involved.

Sexual Bottom: In opposition to sexual tops, during penetrative sex, the one being penetrated is considered the bottom.

Sexual Versatile: A sexual versatile is someone who does not identify strictly as ‘top’ or ‘bottom’ in sexual activities and who can enjoy both roles. They can be both the giver and receiver of penetration in sex.

There is no strict definition of any of these, and they might mean different things to different people, including physical, emotional, and psychological dimensions that go beyond the immediate scope of intercourse. No matter what your preference is, consent is a must. By focusing inward, communicating clearly and staying patient with the process, this can become an exciting chance for self-discovery.

(The above story first appeared on LatestLY on Jun 07, 2024 10:06 AM IST. For more news and updates on politics, world, sports, entertainment and lifestyle, log on to our website latestly.com).