Your Outrage Against Grihalakshmi Magazine, Gilu Joseph and Public Breastfeeding is Not Justified, Here's Why

This Women’s Day, Mathrubhumi’s woman-centric magazine Grihalakshmi has picked up a rather contentious topic to celebrate: de-stigmatising and normalising public breastfeeding. By featuring the image of a Malayali poet Gilu Joseph breastfeeding a baby, Grihalakshmi has shown a rare kind of audacity that no India media agency, let alone a regional publication, has exhibited before. And in all certainty, the magazine must have never expected go gently into that good night, especially since the image was served to the Malayali readership, which still has a rather sketchy idea of what’s considered progressive.

A section of the male population -- who have strong opinions on things that doesn’t concern them -- have already taken to the social media, comparing Gilu to sanskari mothers who have the “decency” to cover themselves up while feeding. Women, on the other hand, have also lambasted the model for desecrating the hallowed act of breastfeeding (Give me a break!) by making a show of it on the magazine cover.

No one – that includes Gilu and Grihalaksmi-- is surprised at the impassioned backlash, considering that we as a people are still not ready for most things progressive. And to be fair, in a democracy, one can’t really complain about another’s right to get offended and make a scene about it . But the trouble is that most of the arguments against Gilu and Grihalakshmi rest on some seriously flawed assumptions that makes one wonder whether our quibblers have missed the wood for the trees. Here are some of the common complaints people have against the photo-shoot and our rebuttals.

“It is indecent”

It’s a breast Einstein. And as surprising as it may seem, it’s not made for only for male gaze or for sexual pleasure. It’s primarily purpose is the nourishment of the child. Not all children take to the bottle that easily and need the comfort of suckling on their mothers’ breasts. Imagine having to be a mother and traveling with a baby like that. I don’t think there’s any mother on earth who’d let their child go hungry, much less for a society whom she owes nothing to. So stop making mothers feel bad about it. If you think Grihalaksmi’s photo-shoot was indecent, it means you are hardwired to think of female breasts only as a sexual organ.

“What’s the harm in covering up?”

What’s the harm in not covering up? Most of the time, the nursing cover is made of a thick material. And if you live in the tropics, it can get pretty hot for the baby inside. Not to mention that it can also be terribly restrictive to the child’s movements and can also suffocate them. If anything, it makes perfect sense for the mother to not cover up.

“If a mother can whip out her breast in public, I can expose my privates”

One of the arguments floating on social media is whether men will have the same rights to whip out their privates every time they feel the urge to pee. Some brainiacs are also comparing the act to other bodily functions like defecating and urinating. To dignify such questions with a response will an insult to any brain-carrying member of the society. Firstly, breast milk, for the uninitiated, is not a bodily waste product and is not gross. And while we understand your indignation at not being able to flash your privates to a woman, bear in mind that it’s done to offend, it’s non-consensual and solely for perverse reasons. Breastfeeding, on the other hand, is done to satiate the child’s hunger.

“I am also a mother. But breastfeeding is sacred for me”

Good for you! But it’s the 21st century and honestly, we are done with the whole motherhood/breastfeeding is sacred/pious/holy/hallowed drivel. There’s nothing sacred about breastfeeding because it’s a basic biological function meant to quell your child’s hunger. If you want to dignify it as a sacred act, that’s totally your call. But imposing your views on another mother who chooses to publically breastfeed is uncalled for, mainly because her decision won’t affect your chances of making it to motherhood heaven, if there is such a thing. To each her own.

“Why was a model chosen for the photo-shoot and not a real mother?”

The photo-shoot was part of the magazine’s campaign to focus awareness on public breastfeeding. Model or no model, the magazine succeeded in doing that. And to all those who are saying, “I’d have supported the magazine had it been a real mother and not a model,” you should be happy that the topic has been finally been broached and not split hairs on the specifics on how it has been done. But that’s if you truly cared for the cause.

Whether you are a man or a woman, if you find yourself opposing the photo-shoot, ask yourself a couple of questions: What is it about a lactating breast that I find so titillating when it’s the farthest thing from? Why do I want this mother to cover up? How exactly does it offend me? You’ll surprise yourself, because there’s no real reason for you to get offended in the first place. The whole spiel about indecency rings hollow when you know that there’s nothing titillating about the simple act of a mother feeding her child.

(The above story first appeared on LatestLY on Mar 05, 2018 07:50 PM IST. For more news and updates on politics, world, sports, entertainment and lifestyle, log on to our website latestly.com).