Anyone who has been around an autistic person knows how challenging it can be to be on the spectrum. The most telling feature of the disorder is that autism compromises the person’s ability to interact or communicate like others do. The autistic person may appear disinterested in socialising and exhibit awkwardness in social settings. They may find making eye contact distressing and loathe being touched. But the trouble is that these signals can be easily misinterpreted as shyness or awkwardness by others, and in a bid to make them feel more “comfortable,” people may try to make physical contact or put the autistic person in the spot. The outcome can be disastrous. It also doesn’t help that currently there is a gross lack of awareness about the neurological disorder, which creates more challenges for those with autism.

Dr Era Dutta, Consultant Neuropsychiatrist and Therapist at Mind Wellness & Fortis says that currently, there is better awareness about the condition than before, thanks to movies like ‘Barfi’ and ‘My Name is Khan,’ which brought the word ‘autism’ into casual conversations. For the better assimilation of autistic people into the society and to improve the quality of their lives, it is important that we know how to behave around them. Dr Dutta outlines the dos and don’ts of interacting with an autistic person.

Know that autistic people communicate differently than a non-autistic person

If you know someone who is autistic or are visiting someone who has an autistic family member, it will pay to read about the condition before you visit them. Read some of the myths and facts about autism. “Autistic individuals do not communicate in the same way as you do. They have a limited repertoire of social interactions. Which means, they wouldn’t be as comfortable with social communications. They may exhibit poor eye contact, limited facial expressions and are particularly uncomfortable with being touched or shown affection to, even by their own parents. They may also show language and speech related issues. They are unable to form normal social bonds like you and me,” says Dr Dutta. So don’t force them to acknowledge your handshakes, return your ‘hellos’ or make forcible eye contact.

Don’t force physical contact

Non-autistic individuals who have a limited understanding of the condition mistake the common autistic traits for shyness or awkwardness. They may think it a favour to make them feel more comfortable by touching or talking to them. But don’t ever try to get them to act “normally”; it is, in fact, more distressing and overwhelming for autistic individuals.

Talk to the caregiver before you meet the person

Talking to the caregivers of the autistic person will help you understand how to behave around them. Understand their likes and dislikes, how they’d like to be approached and what amount of contact is appropriate for the person. “Ask them about the patterns, routines and physical-touch related concerns of the autistic person. A family member or a caregiver usually gives a good heads up about how to behave with them. Respect that!” says Dr Dutta.

Back off if you make them uncomfortable

Sometimes, despite your best intentions, you may end up riling up the person. They may react badly to a touch or a sound. “A sudden change in their routine can upset these individuals. So avoid barging into their territory or personal space. You will know they are upset when they start yelling, screaming and retreating. That’s when you back off,” adds Dr Dutta.

Respect their boundaries

Autistic people are not moody or temperamental. They understand socialising in a very different way. So it is important on your part that you respect their personal boundaries when it comes to interacting with them because whatever you think is normal can be overwhelming for them. “There are no strict rules for talking to the autistic person. Depending on where they are on the spectrum, they can be managed. But the idea is to balance your interactions by being more respectful of their needs and boundaries, while at the same time complying with their caregivers,” Dr Dutta adds.

Don’t take anything personally

Your experience with an autistic person may not be always pleasant. They may say or do things that may embarrass you, but that’s not done intentionally. “Many individuals who do not know about autism may label them as “strange”, “weird” or be hurt with their behaviour, but please know that it’s not about you,” says Dr Dutta. They don’t follow or understand the rules of social propriety like you do. Understand that their intention is not to hurt you. So don’t take anything they do personally.

Understand that a wrong move on your part can be intensely bothersome for the autistic individual. It can also stress out the caregivers. Instead of expecting them to come up to your level, make an effort and understand the world from through their perspective.

(The above story first appeared on LatestLY on Apr 03, 2018 11:49 AM IST. For more news and updates on politics, world, sports, entertainment and lifestyle, log on to our website latestly.com).