Artemis Fowl Movie Review: When a movie keeps getting delayed time and again before being dumped on an OTT platform, it is a given by now that there is something abysmally wrong. And no amount of fairy magic can make Artemis Fowl, Disney's latest YA fantasy movie, anything other than an unmitigated disaster. Okay, maybe 'disaster' is too harsh a word, because perhaps the kids might enjoy this film. But when you have someone as accomplished as Kenneth Branagh (Thor) as the director, then you can't afford to make Magic look so errr... Dull! Artemis Fowl Movie Review: Critics Call Kenneth Branagh's Directorial A Total Debacle.

Artemis Fowl is based on a series of books by Eoin Colfer. The movie follows the titular protagonist (Ferdia Shaw), a 12-year old rich genius brat who becomes a criminal mastermind (his words, not mine) in the end. He is brought up by his father Artemis Sr (Colin Farrell, wasted and disinterested), a dealer in rare antiquities in their lonely mansion, that is under the care of their loyal butler Dom (Nonso Anozie). Dom's younger sister Juliet (Tamara Smart) also stays with them.

Like with nearly every YA fantasy, mostly backed by Disney, Artemis' father goes missing one day. While the world calls him a thief, Artemis realises his father held some secrets - secrets that are linked to another world filled with fairies, pixies, goblins, dwarves and trolls. And like always, there is a magical MacGuffin involved called Aculos, and the mysterious magical entity who kidnapped his father wants Artemis to find it for her.

As Artemis tries to discover its location, he comes across a young elven officer Holly (Lara McDonnell) who also has a history with Aculos. After the initial dissent, they pair up together to figure where this thing is, while trying to keep the magical folks off his premises.

Artemis Fowl's biggest crime, despite its fantasy genre, is that it is BORING! Even though it is merely 95 minutes long, the movie will make you count each minute to the finishing mark, so dull the turn of events are. Artemis Fowl doesn't allow you to warm up to its young protagonist, and unless you have read the books, you really don't find his smarminess a reason enough to root for him.

It also needs some special talent to make the great Judi Dench deliver her most phoniest performance of her career, as she tries to work an act around pointy ears and gruff voice. And she was licking her paws and more in Cats a couple of months back! Josh Gad seems to be having some fun as Mulch Diggums, the dwarf who is not so dwarf enough but is a master stealer. Only that the viewer doesn't seem to have the same kind of fun watching him eat sand and then fart it out of his back!

In fact, the only likeable character in the films is Holly, and she is a character I look forward to watch in the sequel that will never happen. Lara McDonnell Calls Working with Disney’s Artemis Fowl Co-Star Josh Gad a ‘Fun Ride’.

Watch Trailer of Artemis Fowl:

Even the visual effects merely passes muster. Most of the character and creature designs look to be generously borrowed from other films like Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter saga. The action sequences also don't make any kind of impact, even though there is a memorable sequence involves a murderous troll demolishing half of the Fowl mansion. The climax lives up to the the rest of the film in maintaining the dullness and never even works on leaving things on a high.

Yay!

- Just 95 Minutes Long!

Nay!

- That It is Still 95 Minutes Long!

Final Thoughts

The YA fantasy genre is losing its sheen among its target audience, and Artemis Fowl does little to change things otherwise. The children may find the film to be okay, but the rest might find Artemis Fowl unforgivable enough to make magical creatures so immensely bland! Dolittle, you have company here! Artemis Fowl is streaming on Disney Plus Hotstar.

 

Rating:1.0

(The above story first appeared on LatestLY on Jun 12, 2020 06:09 PM IST. For more news and updates on politics, world, sports, entertainment and lifestyle, log on to our website latestly.com).