Washington, April 12: "I didn't want to believe it," said pop star Mariah Carey, as she spoke for the first time about her 17-year battle with bipolar disorder.

In an interview with People Magazine, the 48-year-old revealed she was first diagnosed with the disorder in 2001 when she was hospitalised for a physical and mental health breakdown. "I didn't want to carry around the stigma of a lifelong disease that would define me and potentially end my career," she said.

"I was so terrified of losing everything." "Until recently I lived in denial and isolation and in constant fear someone would expose me," Carey told the magazine. "It was too heavy a burden to carry and I simply couldn't do that anymore. I sought and received treatment, I put positive people around me and I got back to doing what I love - writing songs and making music." The singer-songwriter is now in therapy and taking medication for bipolar II disorder, which involves periods of depression as well as hypomania, reports the magazine.

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